I read somewhere the other day – “be perfect at being imperfect” and it really rang home. My never-ending battle with perfection, basically trying to create a life I think I should have, rather than actually living my life has become exhausting. It used to be that perfectionism was reserved for my work, but it has some how creeped into all aspects of my life, whether that’s with my appearance, how my home looks, or tragically, how my Instagram grid is looking, it is draining and causing more anxiety – so I’ve decided that it is OK that my life is Perfectly, Imperfect.
Just writing this down is lifting a huge weight off my shoulders, I’ve said it before blogging really is therapy, but trying to let go of perfectionism that blocks my ability to just live happily isn’t going to an easy task, but surly for my own mental wellbeing I’ve got to give it a go.
What I don’t overly share is how bad my anxiety is, on the scale of one to 10, I’d say this year has probably been a 7/8. Not quite as bad as last year with the whole move, but still quite debilitating at times, which then causes me to be frustrated with myself, it is a vicious cycle and I’m trying my hardest to put in place positive steps to ease my anxiety and fingers crossed kick its arse!!!
Perfectly, Imperfect – Breaking Up With My Mobile
To help, one major change has been breaking up with my mobile, well a little. I’m trying not to be flicking through my social media feeds all the time. It’s amazing how as soon as I stop doing something I pick up my phone open Instagram or Twitter and then miss another 15-30 minutes or so scrolling until I get back to what I was working on.
As well as trying not to use my phone as much I’ve also deleted the Facebook app, which to be honest I haven’t missed and I just found draining each time I went on and scrolled through my news feed, so now I only look at Facebook on the rare occasion I remember to open up when I’m working at my desktop. So, sorry friends and family I will have missed that event invite, news announcement or basically what you ate for breakfast five Sunday’s ago, as something had to give, and Facebook was the weakest and most pointless link.
The key to using my phone less has been turning off my notifications off my mobile for my other social media apps and emails, the blinking light and beep was so frustrating and very distracting and meant I couldn’t just turn over the phone, I had to check, which would then lead to a scroll, which would generally equal wasting time. Now I only see when I actually have a really pause to my day, or if I get a call or WhatsApp, as I generally see them as being more urgent to see, so notifications are needed.
We’ve also established a no phone rule on a Friday night, so as soon as my husband comes home, both of our mobiles go in another room, we don’t check them not even for a text message, as if it was urgent from close family and friends they have our home number, which generally only rings when we get a spam caller.
This has been one of the biggest changes, learning to disconnect from social to live in the moment, enjoy each others company, have a nice meal, watch a movie, and do so while being present in the moment, rather than one eye on my mobile and the other watching the TV. At first it was difficult, I still randomly reached for my phone, but now it has meant I actually put it in my office most nights when Paul is back from work. We also have a no phones during dinner rule, as it is just plain rude, and by doing that it sometimes means we head off to the snug and forget about them.
The idea is to change aspects that get in the way of your happiness, if you enjoy constant scrolling through the Instaperfection then do so, and don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t, for me, I was finding social media especially Instagram was contributing to my perfectionism. I was comparing myself, my life, my home with those pictures I see online, and while I even know that I only place the good stuff on my grid, I was still anxious to up my game/life. Since cutting back on my scrolling I have a new appreciation for all the aspects of my life, the good, the bad and those areas that still piss me off, but you know what there is something about being perfectly, imperfect that is refreshing.