Goals, Dreams and Fears

Goals, Dreams and Fears

I’m not one for New Year resolutions, but I do like to set myself goals, some silly, some very silly, some more dreams than goals, and some just to motivate myself to get my arse into gear and to ignore the fear, and I also like to think that each year I learn from the previous, the good and the bad and hopefully make a change if needed. This year I think a change is in the air, I feel that 2018, is the year that I start listening to me, what I want, not what everyone else is doing, or expects me to do, what I love, enjoy and ultimately I think that’s what you guys will want to read and see, hopefully!!!

You see, 2018 will be my 9th year blogging here on Fashionista Barbie, scary right, I started it with no fanfare, no long-winded post on what I thought my blog would be, I just used it as an outlet to mainly share my love for the red carpet. Things have definitely changed, for the better, don’t get me wrong I still love the red carpet, but I also love that my blog is a personal extension of myself. It’s funny that I hesitated so much in the early years about putting myself on the blog, I really didn’t want too, but as soon as I did it really made me so connected with all of you, my amazing supporters, and now it would seem so wrong not to continue that. But, I also know that I’m not a super stylish, on-trend or even popular style blogger, my outfits, as one blogger said recently, are apparently “generic”, hey, I know she meant that as a criticism, but I don’t feel that way and that’s what’s wrong sometimes with fashion blogging, if we aren’t all wearing the same must-have affiliate product then we must be ‘generic’. Is it so wrong that I actually want to wear my style posts more than the 10-45 minutes it took to shoot it? 

I’ve been wrestling with this concept of newness for a while, everyone searching for the same locations, the same looks, down to the same ‘inspired’ poses, don’t get me wrong that’s not just blogging, the whole fashion industry revolves on revisiting previous ‘inspiration’, but when you want to get off the train and do your own thing, where do you even start.

For me, it’s about losing the fear, I’m bursting with new ideas and direction for my blog and freelance life, you see I don’t blog fulltime, I actually love that I’m also a journalist as well, but the past two or three years I’ve really been crippled with fear of failing, so when you don’t want to fail, you don’t push yourself to even try, and that’s where I am, I’m stuck in this limbo of doing the everyday work, but not pushing my creativity – whether in my writing or photography, and I’m hoping that this year I can be brave enough to at least try. 

I think the starting point to achieving my goals is actually this blog post, pressing ‘publish’, I can’t tell you how many times I written a similar blog and not actually published it, as once it’s out there I really have to do something about it. The next is getting back to the basics, focusing on my passions and getting organised, which is another thing that hasn’t been on my side for a while, I really do need a schedule. I’ve said a lot about not wanting a schedule as then I wouldn’t be as creative, but I think that was an excuse to put off things I was actually scared to do.

So, I’m thinking one of my goals is to aim for two-three blog posts a week, I was thinking Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday, where I will share a weekly style post, interior inspiration, shopping trend guides, as well as interviews with people who inspire me within this crazy industry, which is one the projects I’ve wanted to do for so long but I’ve always been scared that everyone would say no, it’s not as though I have much social clout to promote them, but you know, just maybe they will see that I’m trying to do something new, bringing together the elements of this blogging community I loved at the beginning, and hopefully showcase to you guys someone new that you’ll want to follow. It’s the thing I always say that blogging has over magazines and big websites, blogs are personal, we invite our readers and followers to take the journey with us, and I actually think that’s something we’ve actually forgotten a little over the years. 

I also want to share more of my photography, I know I have spoken before about maybe doing a separate blog for my photos, but I want to incorporate it in here on Fashionista Barbie as well, and I was thinking a monthly photo journal sharing my 35mm film pictures. You see that’s my big project this year, 35mm film, I’ve bought myself an Olympus Trip 35 as well as, an Olympus OM20 and a stack of lens, and I’m fingers crossed if I can get my office/studio renovated this year I will also get myself my own darkroom so I can do all the processing myself. I can’t express how excited I am to give this a go, I’ve already put in my first film for processing and I can’t wait for it to come back so I share with you. 

I’ve wanted to do this for years, but again, there was that nagging ‘fear’ sensation, not sure why, as if the photos are crap, I don’t need to share do I, but I thought it might be fun sharing my experiences, reviewing these cameras, and the hope is that it will help my digital photography as well, as with film you really do have to think more about light and I’ve become so lazy with the auto button that I needed a push to make my imagery better. 

There are tons of other goals for 2018, like I want to learn French, I did it at school but not much since and I always kick myself each time I go to Paris that I can’t speak more, so this year I want to give it another shot. Also, just think how much fun jumping on the Eurostar will be when I can actually have a conversation in French. I also want to get cracking on my novel, I think 10 years working on the same piece is too long, I’ve either go to finish it or start over, either way, I want a manuscript written by the end of the year. 

Then I have a few dreams, I want to travel more this year, house renovations make that a little difficult, but I have Iceland, Copenhagen, Venice, Prague, Berlin, Canada, and New York on my list. I’ll be happy if even one of these comes off, but have the fun is in the planning, and I’ve already got dedicated Pinterest boards in the works. 

I also would like to get a few more rooms transform in the house, first up, the main bathroom that is an urgent one and the first project of 2018, I also want to do my walk-in-wardrobe, as well as our bedroom, and track down the perfect corner sofa for the snug. To be honest, interiors is such a passion of mine, I’m excited that I will be able to share more of it on Fashionista Barbie now I have a canvas to transform, and I know a lot of you have been asking when you will see more, don’t worry I have a monster couple of blogs coming showing off my new kitchen that I’m super happy about. 

What’s on your 2018 goals list? 

My Style: Missguided – Pink Oversized Boucle Coat **Top tip – size down, it is very oversized** // BrandAttic – Studded Multi Strap Ankle Boots // Asos – Influence Keyhole Frill Sleeve Floral Midi Dress // New Look – Belt // 

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